Sleep.

Usually at these times, I'll be sad for no reason.

But these past few days, I felt something different.

It's the same feeling I used to get a long time ago.

I sleep late because I'm scared.

I don't know what I'm scared of.

That's the problem.

I used to get very scared of the window above me.

But then I started listening to music to get me to sleep.

And the window became a soothing thing to look at.

I can stare into it and just dream off.

But nowadays, I'm scared.

I'm scared to look up at the window, I'm scared to look at the closet, I'm scared to look at the mirror.

I'm really tired now. My eyes hurt from this computer screen and it's giving me a headache.

But I'm too scared to sleep.

In the end, I'll sleep at 4am because I know my father's gonna wake up in another half an hour.

And I found a new song to help me sleep.

Heard it on Grey's Anatomy once, but finally knew what song it was when I was looking at SYTYCD videos of Billy Bell. Immediately recognised it. Then I checked out his full routine for the song. His dance was so beautiful, along the music which is already beautiful on its own. So now, I'll just plug in my earphones, put the song on repeat, and imagined Billy Bell dancing.

Whatever helps put me to sleep.