Forgot it.

I turned 18 last week.

Can you believe it? I'm 18 years and one week.

Thought I'll feel a little different. But I guess birthdays doesn't really mean anything huh?

Just makes you a step closer to death.

Everyday still is the same shit.

I have to really thank my beautiful girls: Hanis, Asnira, Ellis and Nadiah, for the beautiful surprise. It was indeed pleasant. I really appreciate it.

I guess that's the only big thing that happened for my birthday.

Other than the big fireworks I got from my siblings. That was fun.

Other than that, hmm. Didn't really felt special that day. I guess I thought since I was turning 18, my family would have made me feel a little bit special. Guess what, my parents forgot that it was my birthday. Not until my sister reminded him in the car did they remember. So I just faked a smile, like I usually do around my family.

Guess who else forgot about my birthday?

This one person, really hurt me by not wishing me. Usually I wouldn't have notice or I would but not care so much. But really, I was waiting and waiting for my birthday to see if that person would wish me, even if it's on facebook, a happy birthday on that day. So I waited. From 12am on 30/08 to 12am 01/09. Yes I waited 2 freaking days. And gave up waiting. But it hurt me so much I kept thinking about it for the next few days.

On the week before that day, I thought to myself.

If that person wished me, then I guess we're fine and I can forget all of this happened. But if that person didn't, then that means that person doesn't want anything to do with me anymore? And so I guessed I really have nothing much to say to that person?

Which is truly very sad. I really like that person, really enjoyed the company. Sucks how that person gave me a silent treatment.

And if you must know, silent treatments is the worst way you can punish me. Seriously it can freaking turned me depressed. Because I don't make the first move. And I don't talk about my feelings to a person to that person itself. I can't face the truth even when it hits me in the face. And the one thing I don't do is confront a person. I'd rather let it hang then confront a person and find the answer myself.

That's what probably caused me so much pain in my life.

But despite all that, I really really like to give the benefit of the doubt to people. I can't hold a grudge on anyone, I just don't have the heart to. I'm soft and I'm weak.