Silent treatments.

I controlled myself, because I want to be a good daughter.

I'm lazy and unresponsive, that's just what I am. It takes me a few minutes to try to understand what anyone is saying to me. And everything follows my mood.

So I'm not the greatest daughter you'll ever have.

But compared to the others, you treat me way differently.

I've said this before, and I'm gonna say it again.

I love my family to death. But they're the cause of my sadness.

I know I'm a hard person to be with. I expect people to be nice to me, but I don't do it to people most of the times. I prefer to be with my friends than my family. Well actually I prefer to be alone. So much easier to be alone.

My mom is pissed at me and not talking to me. Which means my dad is pissed at me too. Which means everyone in the family right now is pissed at me.

I opened my mouth ONE time, and I messed up everything. Fuck this.

All I did was answer her question. She asked where I put this piece of paper, and I said I put it where it was. But it wasn't there. And I really don't remember putting it in any other place. And my mom keeps asking where I put it. And I keep saying I don't know where I put it. And then I heard her crying upstairs.

I don't freaking understand why. I gave her an honest answer. The only reason why I shouted was because I was downstairs and she was upstairs. I wasn't angry. I seriously don't know where I put it. And I heard Dad saying something like we're not respecting her.

What did I do?

My brothers raised their voice every single time they talk to her. She didn't cry. They get angry at her more than I do and she didn't cry. They talked back to her every single time and she didn't cry.

I keep quiet most of the time and the one time I chose to answer her, she cried.

That's the second time I've made her cry. The second time she's giving me a silent treatment.

That makes it TWO freaking people giving me the silent treatment.

I know it's a sin to make your mom cry. I'm very ashamed of that.

Anyone who knows me know that I don't apologise to people. As much as I'm sorry, I just don't say sorry to people. Not to my friends, not to my family. It's not because I'm not sorry. It's because I'm VERY sorry and feel so much guilt that I can't bring myself to say it out loud.

But I can't help feeling angry. Especially since I have no idea what the hell I did.